wth! i am mad angry at disgusting and random people who added me on msn when i dont even know them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -.- today there is 2 already! WHAT BITCH MAN! stupid then they dont even know me and come talk some fucking nonsense! -.-! i just when on and scolded them and bloack them! haha! wasted my time and make myself angry at them! wth. kay shall not waste time blogging too much about those idiots. anw, just to caution others in case they also go ka jiao your, the 2 hotmail are:
ArdithRenteriaijsin@hotmail.com
KiaraLetbetterpdnoo@hotmail.com
2 disgusting bitch. GET LOST MAN!

haha kay i realised i have been blogging a lot these days. wahh sian no lifeeeee!~ aha! hmm, kay anw, today was quite interesting. AND! i screwed math test ttm -.- i seriously will fail. i mean it this time too. it felt even worse than chem and physics. so means i will fail even more badly. i comfirm only get like 4-10 marks. OVER 40! ta ma de! diee already.. i am going to make king zong damn sad and disappointed with me D; haii he already like dont know how to teach me already. and i dare not ask him those stupid questions.. even though they are real stupid questions, but i still dont know. crap.

and today i saw how different my attitude is from the chua. esp during lang arts and math. chem also. she getting pro-er than yjq! OMGOSH!!!!!! arghh. i am still the same! haii maybe got more pro a bit la! :D haha! kay nvm, and lang arts speech i was still laughing so damn loudly at those ppl presenting when their speech turn into a joke!!!! HAHA! but the chua was totally sitting there with the "i am going to dieeeee..." face! O: LOL haha. actually i was also very scared but i dont know why i listen listen then will forget that i will have to present later too... wahh fail sia haha AND! math. i totally dont know much shit. but i just wasn't as despo to go faster chiong last minute mugging. so in the end screw up the paper. dieeee. haii.

kay, today ncc. was quite hmm dont know how to describe. but ali said this damn sad sentence which make me cry. actually not la. i already going to cry then i keep trying to force the tears back. then ali said the sentence and she burst into tears then i saw the constipated face on weely. can tell that she was trying to ren too. then all of a sudden, i just cry. idk why. i think is cos someone said that we only got like less than 15 acts as a cadet.. then like why aren't all of us putting their best effort yet/ then i just dk why got the very sad and dk la, like something real big bothering me. then it just makes me cry. i know i haven't wasted all these years in ncc. but idk if i really did make full use of all the time and put in my best effort in Everything. then i tried real hard not to cry at first cos i know when 1 person start, many will follow. but in the end i still failed. then i tried to hide behind when cos i dont want the whole platoon to start crying. but in the end i think geraldine and shu ying cry also...
then when we sat down jamie ask me why i cried. good qn. i was asking myself too. no offence but i feel like asking her back why didn't you feel like crying at all... dont you feel anything when you know we are only left with like 15acts as a cadet?!!!! 15 isn't a lot man. c'mon i bet the next time you realised it would probably be 3 acts left... idk. i really LOVE being a cadet though sometimes its quite tough. i knew i will going to regret not putting my best in Everything when i was a cadet after we become specs. i dont really want my ncc cadet life to end so quickly! i already damn regret about the last march camp as a cadet. i totally screwed it. i was super angry with myself.

all the tears that i have given to NCC. i hope they are not wasted. maybe it had made me stronger? i hope so.

i realised all my life the most i cry is for NCC. part A i cant really rmb. partB i cried for march camp. and i rmb once i dropped my beret when marching. then the whole platoon have to pump 50 with me! i think most would probably can t rmb that. but thats the greatest thing i am shameful about in my whole ncc life.. i will nv forget it. i rmb it was after a rain. we were in no4. we pump on the ground outside comp lab in the old rv campus. thats when i cried too. but silently cos i know it was my own fault/mistake. next still got fsd.. but it was cos too happy, when we won! and not forgetting.. orienteering. the one i felt most sad about. i felt like dying. cos it came with all the eoy results too last year. so i cried real hard that time. and also when the previous batch of specs stepped down, i rmb how hard the specs were trying to not cry in front of us. i can clearly rmb the look they had on their faces! and i cried too. i think there is more but
i would better stop. hmm. now that i think about it, i really cried a lot. omg, i am such a crybaby! -.- wth. i didn't know i was so weak. i will have to be stronger! for the remaining acts, Weini, you must not let yourself down! i can do it! i must do it!

i think my passion for NCC is back!!! YES, you just know when the feeling comes back. the down feeling when i know that there is no act this friday cos of hols.. i LOVE THIS FEELING>> THE "I MISSSSSSSS ACT FEELING" I LOVE NCC :D




happy
happy
happy.
excited

sometimes i think you are quite fake girl... i hate you

kay ignore the above sentence. its not the point. anw, i was watching the stupid show just now. and after seeing shen ai li, i felt quite contented with my life. idk why. HAHA this is super random but nvm.i am quite happy that i have great friends and platoon mates :D charlie girls i love you hahahahahha!(: and i am like happy everyday even though i suck at studies and flung almost every tests. oh great and tmr got math test!@ i am gonna dieeeeeeeeeeeee. i cant even find the most important ws! wtf i am quite angry now!

and i dont know if my attitude is good or bad sia. i am like laughing like some mad woman everyday even though my life is quite screwed and there are many unhappy stuffs happening almost every single moment. but i tend to ignore them or in fact try not to be bothered about it and then stay happy and laugh laugh laugh.. is this good or bad? i am like not facing reality. but if i do, i comfirm become some emo kia. i dont want... so i hope my attitude now is not really bad.. but if i cont like this i will really be screwed esp studies. sian . kay i shall go try to study bye!~

hmph! D;

omg. i dont like my heck care attitude. esp to studies. i fail so much tests yet i still can laugh like nth had happened. maybe i should be more serious. i think i have to. results is one thing bothering me. but there are a lot of other things too. like ncc and friends. i am afraid because of my heck care and sucky attitude... i dont know how esp the ppl around me and my best friends can stand me. like Jamie, val, Jieli, nicole, vc. these are the ones who have been able to ta han me for the longest. jasmine and hui geok and shu ying too. that time ncc chalet we talked about it already. i ask them why they can still tahan me and be friends with me even though they and myself know i had a disgusting attitude. cos i got mood swings and very hot tempered. and i always heck care about a lot of things cos i am so lazy i didn't bother to do anything. yet they still can be such good friends with me. i lost a lot of goodd friends already. and now we could hardly talk till we really laugh hard. i want to change my attitude. i dont want to risk losing more friends. i am just afraid my friends and everyone around me will find me irritating and walk away, walk out of my life. i dont want to be alone plz! T.T

Insomnia...

my eyes are getting red due to the lack of sleep but i just cant bring myself into sleep .__. i think a lot these days idk why. hmph. kay i shall wait to i get tired. but i dont know if i will O.O

tian tian de.

我輕輕的嚐一口　妳說的愛我　
還在回味妳給過的溫柔
我輕輕的嚐一口　這香濃的誘惑　
我喜歡的樣子妳都有

haha kay this is only the beginning of the son.g and it remind me of the four in 2k that sit right in front of the teacher's desk. me yanning val en xian. omg en xian's face in my memory is fading! I DONT WANT! omg how?! its really months i had not seen her! i miss you WOMAN! ): i wonder if she will be thinking of us,2k now. hmm. thats will i hate this kind of things. like separation. kay lol sounds noob. but i really dont like it ): haii. hope this awesome class 3i wont change next year!!!!! its so hard to get into same class as jieli and nicole again!!!! :D i love you guys! i thought i wont be in the same class as our clique again and cried like shit the last day of 2k. hah! was really happy to be in same class with your again :D yay! kay, this digress a little away already. but i really really dont want to change 3I! i want to see the same faces in 4I :D i hope can!!!!! i really HOPE! <3

Today was a fairytale
You were the prince
I used to be a damsel in distress
You took me by the hand and you picked me up at six
Today was a fairytale

Today was a fairytale

Today was a fairytale
I wore a dress
You wore a dark grey t-shirt
You told me I was pretty when I looked like a mess
Today was a fairytale
Time slows down whenever you're around

But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale

Today was a fairytale
You've got a smile that takes me to another planet
Every move you make everything you say is right
Today was a fairytale
Today was a fairytale
All that I can say is it's getting so much clearer
Nothing made sense until the time I saw your face
Today was a fairytale

Time slows down whenever you're around
Yeah yeah

But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale


Time slows down whenever you're around
I can feel my heart
It's beating in my chest
Did you feel it?
I can't put this down

But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale

omg. i realised i am not smart yet VERYYY lazyyyyyyyyy. dieeeeeee.e haii. how?! shit. i just wasted the whole day today. idk what i did.. but haven't even take out my books from my bag. and now i just rmb i no more pens. LIKE SERIOUSLY CANT EVEN FIND ONE! then cant start hw. and then i rmb i borrowed 1 very cool pen from chua! haha thanks woman! if not i am dead. but i dont feel like mugging now. haii. crap. kay i shall slp soon and be hardworking tmr. hopefully ^^ heh

today ncc ended very early. cos today's act only left 7 pathetic souls in my dear platoon. we had quite a horrible pt. not really hiong but yah if you were there you know! so i am bored now. i lazy do homework or what la. ohya AND. today my angel brought a baby bat to sch! cos it flew into his home! very sad it lost its parents ): so poor thing. and bats are really blind! so funny! HAHA. it just looks like a hamster with wings LOL AND! we fed it milk and fruits in class. LOL in the end make a mess of everything! and kh ate the a piece of fruit that is dirtied by me when i was trying to feed the bat! HAHA. hope he doesn't get some weird disease or start growing wings! omfg.

ohya today i flung the history test too! i totally dont know what i was writing -.- what propaganda shit. cos ysd the whole night i was chionging the lang arts speech..
kay i am bored all of a sudden! i know this is random but BYE!~

kay that day staff peijia talk to me.. idk how she and the other specialists can tell but i really somehow lost my passion for ncc. hmm. after what she say i have been thinking about for these few days. idk why just like this year then i kind of just treat ncc as a cca. not ncc. i really missed the time where i will be like YES! TODAY GOT NCC! this doesn't happen at all now. i will instead be like.. sian, later got cca again. idk why but almost every tues and friday, me and chua will be dreading cca in class. i just like always hoping later during act wont screw up, hope wont get scolded a lot, hope wont cnc cos i dont want to screwed up and disappoint my specs. hope will be able to ta han through that act, hope wont be too hiong, hope wont get too tired. all these just make me dread act a little. its hard to say like i want to love ncc to the core! sometimes you just wont like it. idk if anybody will understand me but ya, it is really not one of those things that you can say you like then you will really like it already. i was quite sad that i lost my passion for ncc. jamie too. it just seems like a cca now. i really missed the times that i will go around screaming I LOVE NCC TO THE CORE! i realised i really used to do that.. esp when i read my previous blog's posts. i didn't know i once loved ncc so much. but idk what happened now. i tried to get back my passion so i went on to join and take part in more activities like mount ophir & kayaking. but everything just didn't turned out really well. i still cant feel the passion that i once had. this is quite sad. my tears almost came down when staff peijia talk to me about it cos i remembered about all the march camps. i didn't really replied her much cos idk what to say. i rmb how much i cried last march camp but i really learnt a lot from it. all the tears from me. my platoon mates. and previous specialists. but this march camp which is like the last march camp as a cadet, i screwed it. i really regreted cos i think i can really put in much more effort. and i was quite unlucky i was sick a few days b4 march camp, throughout the camp and after that. if i hadn't been sick i think i really could do a lot more better. i think i am a failure. i flung everything esp gsk. i prepared like shit for ifc mutual, studied gsk, tried cnc, praticed hard the march camp dance. it took a lot of my time but in the end nth turned out well. i am so failed. idk what happen. why cant i just do better?! now ncc is just like fears. i will be very scared that i flung all the things esp with so many zai ppl like weely geraldine wanyi ali. i totally fail. idk what to say. ncc just doesn't feel like ncc now. more like a cca..

i really want to get back the feeling. my passion for ncc

and yes. i rmb my dream to be a pc. i dont know if it will be possible now. so many are also fighting to be partc pc. i really dont know if i can get that post even if i tried my best to fight for it too. but wont it be very bad. i dont like this kind of things.. like have to fight and be better than your platoon mates.. but i know if i dont i might regret. i want to have the best memory of ncc and be what i want to be. then i can be proud and say i LOVE NCC.

hope things will really turned for the better. i dont wish that our previous specs come back to see us and ask me what happened.. i dont want them to feel sad and like they had wasted their time and effort to make me a proud member of ncc and a good cadet. i want show them i can do it! so i must do it! i really have to.

today was kayaking! haha. kay, totally fail i think. it was a lot worse compared to 1person kayak -.- its just harder to control 2 person de. kay, the guy behind me was wei quan. haha ma3! LOL. anw, not bad la. lucky not get random guys from other sch -.- all bitch. hah! kay, was not the first few. of course ): haii. think is only 14th position out of 20. AND AND! sad! wan yi & zheng han was the first from the back! D; wlao eh! i think is they too nice then keep letting ppl go first and overtake them. haii. hope can get into 2nd round. and then mini expedition and AKE! my god. i dont think can lehh. but i hope. but if get in then the 2camps i dont know how to survive! cos if wan yi nv get in then i am the only girl i know! others are other sch ppl and total only got 4girls from land! omg!O: thats weird! i dont like to be alone man! haii, nvm. shall not thin k too much first. might not even get in! haha kay and it was really tiring! but wei quan was quite strong haha ty!

AND AND! YSD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahaha my go. fucking funny! cos of stupid yip jia qi's chinese compo!!!!! ahahahahaah my god! i nv see such epic fail compo in my life before! title "wo shi yi ge e xin de ren!" translate: "I AM A DIGUSTING PERSON!!!" hahaha the title make me laugh my ass out already! cos he wrote wo shi yi ge cai hua heng yi de ren before that then fail need redo! so this time change to truth! my god! and the whole content was crap and random!!!!! you must go read it if you can! it is seriously cannot imagine de! me and the chua laugh till going vomit and i was damn dizzy after trying not to laugh out loud during lessons for like 1hour!? HAHA i really cant forget what he wrote man!!!!! it is a must read thing in life! if not you will really regret. and you might laugh more than me cos it was really epic! and i own him and huge bird for chinese test! hahaha first time i so zai man! was VERY happy! i felt quite sad for yip jia qi after laughing so much at his wonderful work! (ohya, and he got 0marks fo content!!!! and qiao make him redo again!!!! ><) -trying hard to control my laughter- hah! this is quite mean but wait. back to point.. he is so pro in everything for studies omg! like dont know why la! esp physics math chem la! omg! but he fail at chinese HHAAHAHAHHA! i cant stop laughing! so sorry but it is weird and funny! and that time his parents call him and he spoke to them in chinese! thats so fucking weird! so ironic. why he everytime at home speak chinese in the end still like that. awww. HAHA. kay shall stop being mean and laugh at him!

BYE BYE HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!

sch is irritating &annoying with yjq and huge bird sitting behind!~
but it was the fun too! LOL

today i realised i was stupid and yet lazy. kay this is bad. and random. hah! nvm, i will work hard! >< kay. and today i also realised how stupid bgr is. wahh, lame. i dont think i will ever want a stead or whatever crap. stead and break stead and break. it only gives you more emo days and crazy hearbeats. its not worth it i think. and i see how bgr can affect one's friendships too. esp when bgr was put before friendship -.- kay, so it sucks. and you and this guy were somehow best friends before your stead. and after the break, you cant even look him in the eyes anymore. it will be weird. so lame la. so whats the point of all these man. i dont really understand/ and for that case that happen today, i really dont know what to say man. it just ended so fast. omg, though i somehow knew it would happen sometime, but i was quite unexpected. but dont sad, girl haha. i am calling you girl cos i cant put your name heh. LOL sounds weird. kay nvm, forget about it bah (: it will soon be out of your head..

*kay this post is really quite random. i just type everything that flashed through my mind.even if it doesn't even make sense to me. so dont take it seriously. haha

Tik Tok KESHA

Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy
(Hey, what up girl?)
Grab my glasses, I'm out the door, I'm gonna hit this city
(Lets go)
Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack
'Cause when I leave for the night, I ain't coming back

I'm talking pedicure on our toes, toes
Trying on all our clothes, clothes
Boys blowing up our phones, phones
Drop-topping, playing our favorite CDs
Pulling up to the parties
Trying to get a little bit tipsy

Don't stop, make it pop
DJ, blow my speakers up
Tonight, I'mma fight
'Til we see the sunlight
Tick tock on the clock
But the party don't stop, no

Don't stop, make it pop
DJ, blow my speakers up
Tonight, I'mma fight
'Til we see the sunlight
Tick tock, on the clock
But the party don't stop, no

Ain't got a care in world, but got plenty of beer
Ain't got no money in my pocket, but I'm already here
And now, the dudes are lining up cause they hear we got swagger
But we kick em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger

I'm talking about everybody getting crunk, crunk
Boys tryin' to touch my junk, junk
Gonna smack him if he getting too drunk, drunk

Now, now, we go until they kick us out, out
Or the police shut us down, down
Police shut us down, down
Po-po shut us

Don't stop, make it pop
DJ, blow my speakers up
Tonight, I'mma fight
'Til we see the sunlight
Tick tock on the clock
But the party don't stop, no

Don't stop, make it pop
DJ, blow my speakers up
Tonight, I'mma fight
'Til we see the sunlight
Tick tock on the clock
But the party don't stop, no

DJ, you build me up
You break me down
My heart, it pounds
Yeah, you got me

With my hands up
You got me now
You got that sound
Yeah, you got me

DJ, you build me up
You break me down
My heart, it pounds
Yeah, you got me

With my hands up
Put your hands up
Put your hands up

Now,
the party don't start 'til I walk in

Don't stop, make it pop
DJ, blow my speakers up
Tonight, I'mma fight
'Til we see the sunlight
Tick tock on the clock
But the party don't stop, no

Don't stop, make it pop
DJ, blow my speakers up
Tonight, I'mma fight
'Til we see the sunlight
Tick tock on the clock
But the party don't stop, no

haii. still haven't fully recovered. part of 3i going kbox. and at first going bugis with the chua before kbox. now everything is gone. and i have to start my hw already!!!!!! only 4days left for hols and i haven't start any of my hw. zai man. i am so dead. kay so i shall start later :> byebye. jiayou everybody too!!

OH MY GOD> i am sick. high fever man. i feel like dying already. actually not really high fever la. my temp goes like 37.7 38.1 37.9 38.1 38.3 38.0 what kinnd of illness am i suffering from man. now i have got a spliting headache and not appetite at all D; man. and can't believe i still can blog at this time. kay, i shall go slp again. faster get well!!!!! then have to start on my hw already! i am so dead..

back to blogging again. so no life. but nvm. since its the hols and i am bored. cos of rvhs -.- sch system is in a mess cos of koh. thanks man. thats why i think we cant got to go the mt ophir trip. cos all the admin stuffs was too late. cant sent in our names le sad ): it was such a freaking cool opportunity lor! don't think i will ever get to go climb a mountain again. and the itinery is like ROCK TTM! haii. i want to see waterfall too D; missed it. all thanks to koh again. i hate you! get lost from rvhs plz. look at how old you are already. im sorry but i think you should retire now! stop trying to ruin my sch and my life. so im bored now. supposed to be playing flyingfox now. and tmr up mt ophir. but its gone! ): damn you -.- nvm, i got more time to do work. and today supposed to go study with the chua & my angel & yjq. but i woke up too 2hour late and the chua 1hour worse than me! HAHA epic fail woman! ^^ then after that i didn't bother going out le. no mood. and suppose to have class outing at sentosa today. oops, but idk the exact time so duh. forget it. kay, i shall watch tv now. and start hw TMR :D heh